Do you sit at home on the computer day and night? Do you feel you should be doing more with your life, making a difference, doing good. Well, now you can make a difference that your descendants will thank you for, and you don’t have to leave the comfort of your computer chair. And get this, it involves masturbation…no seriously!
It’s called the Wankband, and its job is to generate free, clean, electrical energy. Simply, it’s a metal ball moving through a metal tube, and, as I’m sure you know, moving a conductor through a magnetic field generates electricity.
The more you move the ball up and down the cylinder, the more electricity is generated, and the better off the world is.
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Can you guess a few movements that would allow you to generate free electricity from the Wankband? Yes, masturbation (the name and my previous mention of masturbation gave that one away). Simply by sitting at home, enjoying copious amounts of pornography, you will be contributing to making the world a better place for the future generations.
For every watt of electricity you generate, there is a butterfly born. For every butterfly born, there is one happy spider. For every happy spider, there is a happy bird. Etcetera, until you reach one happy human masturbating…ahhh, the cycle of life.
Wankband Is Multi Use
There are, of course, other avenues of charging the Wankband that aren’t directly obvious from the name. Such as walking, jogging, exaggerative hand writing, wild hand gestures while talking, and methodical dancing.
Once you have made the world a better place with the power of your desire, you can plug the Wankband into a device to charge it. Charging is as simple as plugging the Wankband into a USB. You can charge your smart-phone (they all come with USB chargers these day), laptop, tablet, anything with a USB.
Imagine what you could accomplish if you had six Wankbands strapped onto one arm! You could generate enough free electricity to power your own Ironman suit, without the need of an arc reactor.
Think of your bank account! Think of the kids! No, wait…don’t think of the kids. Just know that they will be better off in a world where people use clean energy to power their leisure devices. Sleep easier knowing your power meter is healthier as a direct result of your earlier Wank-a-thon. Do the right thing. Wank for a cause. Do it for you. Do it for me!